Orgasmic sex between
consenting adults provides more benefits to humans than simple shared
intimacy. It's also important in maintaining one's physical and
mental health.
Numerous studies have
shown the beneficial effects of regular orgasms. Sex has been shown
to be a great cardiovascular workout and it has been proven to relieve
stress, thereby preventing stress related disorders. Regular, satisfying
sex may even help you live longer!
On the other hand, sexual
frustration, in my opinion, is one of the greatest problems humans
face today.
Now, I'm not talking
about a guy who's frustrated because his wife has been out of town
for a week. I'm talking about 40 year old guys who have never had
sex. I'm talking about women who have been so scarred sexually,
that they are hoping to get through the rest of their lives without
ever having to have sex again. Where does this come from?
Well, let's start by
taking a look at history and religion. In many cultures, sex has
been labelled "dirty." And it's evident in the way we interact with
each other every day that this perception has endured. One of the
most obvious instances is the work "fuck." Apparently left over
from even more repressive times, the letters are intials describing
a stockade offense, "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge." Today, it has
become one of the most negative and widely used words in American
English.
Look at high school boys
who already have distorted views of sex before they've even participated
in the act. We hear things like, "eat me", "bite me", "suck this,"
"nice girls don't but naughty girls do," and even as they get older,
"she's fun, but she's not the kind of girl you want to marry!" How
many good hearted and adventurous teenage girls have submitted to
the wishes of their beau, only to be shamed, publicly ridiculed
or abandoned?
Then boys become men.
They get married to "nice girls" and spend the rest of their lives
wishing their wives were more adventurous in bed. How many husbands
hassle and harrangue their wives to give them what they need (often
without thinking of their wife's needs) until she is fed up and
no longer interested at all? Our whole concept of sex has become
so twisted that many actually scorn its healthful and bonding effects
because it has become so tangled up with pain.
And don't forget the
contribution of acute sexual frustration to crime. Every sexual
offense has its roots in sexual pain and frustration or misconceptions
about sex. If sex offenders were capable of having loving, responsible,
adult relationships, there would be no need for them to commit such
crimes as rape and molestation.
What can we do?
First, let's get it straight
that sex is not "dirty." It is a perfectly normal biological function
and ignoring the urge won't make it go away. This is simply the
way we are designed. If we truly have respect for some kind of all
powerful Creator, then it's time we honor the fact that He/She/It
made us the way we are. The Human body is a beautiful thing and
it's wrong for us to attach such negative connotations to any aspect
of our natural selves in favor of some Human conception of how we
"should" be.
We must learn to embrace
our sexuality. Just because you might have had a bad experience
in the past does not mean you're incapable of having a good sexual
experience. If your current sex life is not all that you'd like
it to be, talk to your partner about what you'd like and work together
to break through inhibitions. If your partner is too demanding or
not open to such discussion, I suggest you think about finding another
partner.
Teach our children. Studies
show that children who grow up in households where the parents are
more open about their bodies, as opposed to always hiding naked
bodies behind closed doors, are actually better adjusted as adults.
Children who get unconscious signals that the naked body is shameful
or disgusting end up with many more personal hang ups and inhibitions
resulting in lower self esteem which only makes it harder to enjoy
a healthy sex life.
And don't be afraid to
talk to children about sex. It certainly encompasses far more than
"where do babies come from." Considering the impact sex, or lack
of sex, has on one's life, it seems pretty silly to make everyone
figure it all out for themselves by trial and error. Don't shrink
away from opportunities to talk to your children about what you've
learned when it comes to choosing a partner and maintaining a relationship.
Even if you don't feel very successful, they can benefit from your
openness and experience.
Guys, apply yourselves
and learn how to get laid. Don't say stupid stuff that only serves
to increase resistance to sex. You want sex. Don't cut off your
nose to spite your face by sending messages that what you really
want is disgusting or loathesome. And, don't let yourself get to
a point where you are so desperate for sex it's all you can think
about. It shows. We've all seen an unneutered dog that tries to
hump the leg of everyone that comes along; it's not attractive and
it won't help you reach your goal. Don't be afraid to take matters
into your own hands periodically to release excess tension so you
can present the real you to prospective partners.
And remember, sex is
a two way street. Men wouldn't want sex all the time if they rarely
ever had a real orgasm and it's the same for women. I know women
who have never had an honest to goodness, shuddering, mind blowing,
toe curling orgasm! Why, because their partners were far more concerned
about their own pleasure instead of focusing on nuturing a long
lasting sexual relationship. If all you care about is yourself,
then go and pay someone to take care of your needs. Legal and regulated
prostitution could go a long way to alleviating the overwhelming
amount of sexual tension and resulting crime in our society.
Imagine a world where
there is no sexual tension. Hold on, I'm not talking about a world
where people run around naked having sex everywhere with anyone
who happens to come along. I'm talking about a world where people
are happy and comfortable with their bodies and sex. Where people
are not so desperate for physical affection that they are actually
more attractive. A world where people feel safe and willing to open
themselves up to all the beneficial effects of sex. It's a tall
order, I know. We've never had such a society, but it's worth it
to try.
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